Monday, February 08, 2010

Stopping Tiger Woods on a Snowy evening II

Though this gentleman has already made an Elin version I am writing my own Tiger Woods version of the fiasco - Here goes

Which club she held the caddy knows
My birdie game was over though
No one had seen me f%&* around
Or saw my texts or checked my dough

The Escalade must think it queer
To smash into the Hydrant near
My Windermere home with Mrs awake
I shudder thinking 300 million at stake

She calls 911 I dare to shake
She tells me Ive done a huge mistake
The only other sound seems TMZ
Of easy scandal if Rachel Spake

Tiger's Woods are lonely dark and deep
I have my prenup agreement to keep
And holes to go before I sleep
And holes to go before I sleep ...

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Courts and Bans

A Mumbai HC Bench recently upheld a ban on the Book - Islam - A Concept of Political World Invasion by Muslims by R. V. Bhasin.

Firstly this anachronistic Judgment in the time of internet and e-books not only highlights the ineptitude of the Indian judiciary (not to mention its decades long prosecution delays and pilfering judges) but also raises the serious question of how the authorities or the nation itself which ever so tightly controlled the media and public information in the past handle the enormous sea of information that the internet offers! No form of information can be banned or censored as there are a million ways to avoid it. The publisher may not make money but the writer can simply email the soft copy to millions of people or upload it to a website or ask people to take printouts and distribute. The speed of promoting a fact has increased exponentially with the internet as propagating any information incurs minimal delay. There are millions of ways to encrypt, surpass censor, anonymize and promote any form of data. It is also very simple to cross check facts as most ancient manuscripts and documents are digitized and uploaded onto many independent websites which serve as evidence for any publication making it open to both scrutiny and critique.

While the hysteria and slander should be downplayed and discouraged as bad taste, the concept of banning information is dead. The court has little control over the internet. The internet provides a real platform for freedom of speech and expression free from any control. Even the Chinese Government has given up trying to run the Great firewall. The use of rotating proxies, onion routing, hacked boxes, encrypted/private browsing, anonymous remote sessions, P2P file sharing and TV, coupled with cheap printing, mobile devices, ever increasing network speeds and ease of access has downplayed all attempts to control the internet since it is so easy now to thwart censorship. The government cant shut down the internet as without it the communication systems and hence the economy will literally collapse.

Be it the Mohammed Cartoons, M.F. Hussains paintings of Hindu deities, Marathi play Mee Nathuram Godse Boltoy, this book, Jaswant Singhs Book on Jinnah, movies Parzania or Da Vinci Code, no form of any human created work of art/literature/ciritique can be ever banned. It can be criticized, questioned, doubted, debated, shunned, downplayed or contested. But it cannot be banned. As Print media dies in the next few years (It will start in India as soon as 3G with cheap plans become a reality) and 3G wireless data network being unleashed in India in the middle of this year, there will be instant access to the internet via cheap netbooks and cheaper and powerful phones to millions in the country without connectivity. It wont take more than a few months before educated Indians will start using the internet like Americans do which makes them more likely to behave like them too. I wonder how will the Indian Government handle the sea of information on say the Islamic atrocities in Muslim India or say massacre of British wives and Children by the Mutineers of 1857 or the atrocities done by XYZ community or ABC person or millions of hate communities, online fraud, harassment, fake identities and criminal activity that it will unleash. While this sounds bizarre the real losers are the extremists (mostly Muslims) because they are the ones who quickly get indoctrinated over the internet faster than the world realizes the threat. With mobile internet it will become an even larger problem as extremists from any communities will start seeing/reading content focused and targeted at indoctrination and brainwashing being sent to them via Social Media/email/MMS/blogs/X-tubes/photos not passively but on demand on the minute.

Moreover the court should re-examine its own verdict which says that the book will incite violence, when in fact it should have questioned why books, cartoons or any publication should ever call for violent behavior from any group? The concept of a free civil society revolves more or less upon how serious the administration or constitution of the country is in protecting the rights of the people. Curbing freedom in any form is equivalent to not giving freedom at all which is similar to denying justice.

After All the Quran itself (which is nothing more than a 7th century goatherd's laments) call for violence against infidels (us free citizens), then why doesn't the court ban it? There are numerous lines in the new testament too that call for punishment of those who don't believe in the end of days too. If I published something like this satirical poster of Gay Jesus with Mohammed, or made lascivious jokes about Sita and Ravana  would the court say that I am inciting violence? Will it ban this blog? Will it recall all emails I send with this message (citing the actual verses from the official books)? Will it erase this from the minds of the people who read it? Well it cannot, let them try I can guarantee that they can't. Once I hit the publish button its there, archived and cached, stored securely in multiple hard drives, printed out by people who care, reposted, quoted, linked, copied, cited and debated. I hope our archaic ways of banning books and hiding truth or curbing debate are done away with for good! 

Update: The absurdity continues nearly 2 years since I originally wrote this with Kapil Sibal asking Google and Facebook to human screen every post. Sigh :(

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

The Journey

I found myself at crossroads often
I took that road the one less taken
Although they said it ain't worth it
I knew that they were all mistaken

Onward I trod with a bold resolve
Kept on following my spirit divine
Through dark woods through shady streets
Through lonesome trails through crowded line

Task after task Herculean each
I had to endure the perils and dreads
As every milestone came and went
Both soul and sole had visible treads

I claimed that glory comes as a fruit
I aimed to clinch the olive wreath
As I vanquished the demons and ghosts
I even mocked at mighty death

But as the journey went on forth
To the edges of the world I'd ever been shown
The great Rewards I eagerly sought
Seemed I could never come to own

The trophies I craved as the justful end
The titles and fame for wanting to dare
The urge to bet and play the game
All seemed less thrillsome I stopped to care

I paused and stared back at my past
The ungotten accolades the unwon triumph
I failed to grasp why I was forsaken
Why my ways were now causing me to slump

And as I stared down deep onto my self
Etched upon and forever to stay
Were the humble scars and the enduring signs
Of all those gusty and perilous ways

Alas it all quite came to me
Grandeur isn't there to attain
The journey, the trials and the travails of life
Are the real fruit, which is worth the pain

- Theodore "Todd" Klarke (thats actually my western name)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Pakistan's Bhasmasur Moment

This week marked 8 years of Unites States Presence in Afghanistan after Bush ordered attack on Taliban controlled Afghanistan using the Northern Alliance of Late Ahmad Shah Masood in late 2001. Lot of events have happened after that. Almost every nation on the planet (barring Latin America) has been involved in some way or other with Islamic militancy and terrorism. Everybody knows but is not saying that the centre of all this is Pakistan and is funded by Arab oil funded Wahabbi Sunni Islam and Iranian Oil funded Shi'ite Militancy. Leading analysts and states-personnel are wary of how to handle the countering of Islamic terrorism.

Interestingly from a India-Pakistan conflict standpoint, Pakistan has seen more suicide attacks and casualties on its own land since 2006 than India has seen from start of Islamic militancy in late 1980s. This weekend Pakistan's Army Headquarters was attacked by Taliban. After this embarrassing standoff Pakistan is more and more having its Bhasmasur Moment.
You may know the legend of Bhasmasura, who was the demon who had the vardaan that he would turn anything he touched into ash. And eventually he turned one Lord Shiva and other devas after which Vishnu intervened in Mohini roopa and made Bhasmasur touch his own head.

Pakistan is now reaping with dividends what it sowed. The much praised dud operations in Swat valley seem to have only increased teh Zeal of the Taliban Militants. It is not surprising that Muslims in Indian Kashmir (forgive me for the political correctness wrt the west), have become wary of both independence and Pakistan. An Independent or Pakistani Kashmir will only lead to the doom of their life and livelihoods.

So Pakistan has a double whammy against it. First - It had almost lost the Kashmir war, and the Kashmir issue has tilted in Indias favor thanks to the Taliban attacks and instability in Pakistan. This undermines the only reason of Pakistans existence which claimed a nation for Subcontinental Muslims. The second whammy is the threat to Pakistan from US's weariness in Afghanistan. With huge natural gas supply boost from Alaska, Canada and Russia, the Afghan gas reserves no longer seem a good prospect for any US company. Also day in and day out from radio and TV shows in US the US feels that the only way to negotiate with the Taliban is like compromising with the enemy. This will only boost the resolve of Taliban. Every intelligent man knows that Taliban, Al Qaeda, LET, Hamas, Hezbolla, Mehdi Army, The regular armies of Pakistan, Afghan tribal Fighters, Militant Uighurs, radical Indonesians all form not a loosely connected force, but a strong ideologically connected Muslim army at war with the infidel world.

The biggest mistake the west and US is making is that it feels that the terrorists are a separate entity from the regular civilians. A recent explosion in Peshawar, the accused was a respected school teacher and was aiming at blowing up US and UK troops in Afghanistan. The school teacher was arrested and was remorseful for killing Pakistanis but said he will beg Allah for another opportunity to kill Americans or Britishers. What kind of moderation is this? All around the Muslim world an increasing majority of people are now baying for the blood of Indians(Hindus), Israelis (Jews) and Christians (US and UK). It should be noted that this is completely different from the earlier presumed notion that the majority Muslims were moderate and only a select minority were brainwashed for Jihad. From Britain and Denmark to Nigeria and Philippines, everyone is

Muslim faith is only nourished by the oil and natural gas money that flows into the Middle East and North Africa. Other than that there is drug money from Marijuana that grows in Central Asia. Although on the outside, this may not seem to be a holy war, but in reality the entire muslim world is indefinitely at war with the Infidels. They are bolstered not only by the violent words of the Quran, but also by the oil-drug money and nuclear capabilities of Pakistan, Iran, Libya.

If the US negotiates with terrorist Taliban - It is bound to commit a huge blunder that will rip Pakistan apart and create a huge threat of global Islamic Terrorism more formidable than ever.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Poem time - For Software Engineers/Programmers only

Ode To The Codesmith

The die is cast in the brain storming session
Specs, docs, designs outline the mission
As every hour passes the deadline looms
The focus then moves off the conference rooms

Deep in the mire of the cubicle maze
Blending in the mist of the LCD haze
Armed with all high tech gizmos to play
The legendary codesmith toils night and day

Powered by caffeine and Diet Coke
Bemused so often by the mathematical joke
The codesmith has no sense of earthly time
His clock just ticks at a bit wise rhyme

The cubicle looks like a scientist’s den
With unopened figurines and light saber pens
And spaceships and toy trains and robots for gimmicks
Darth Vader and Cartman and Sméagol he mimics

He downloads and installs all tools of the trade
Just as the swordswright welds the blade
The codesmith gets the machines to train
And make them behave like a human brain

Alas, this is easier said than done
Software battles are seldom won
As soon as the coders may pull the plug
There appears the dreaded and treacherous bug

With break points and logs and step run modes
The codesmiths try to cleanse their code
Though his lieutenants (QA) will try their best
The codesmith himself does all sanity tests

The battle still on, the managers speak
The program is scheduled for release next week
The codesmiths will putsch for a final stand
Their battle cry reads "nothing should hang"

And then as the dreaded release day dawns
Bloodshot-eyed they trickle in with incessant yawns
As the CEO speaks, they listen, all breathing bated
"Gentlemen, the software we released is already outdated"

- Shriniwas K

This is a program poem I wrote as a tribute to all software engineers! - enjoy responsibly - and excuse/forgive me for using the male gender in the poem. Also I wanted all to be in this note, but there is a limit of 30 tags (duh why 30? I would have accepted even 32, 64,128 or 256 but 30 ????)

Comments welcome!

© Creative Commons Attribution - All the copyrighted names used belong to their respective owners...

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Money As Debt Series

Two must watch videos!

Understand the Credit Crisis

Watch This Please to understand Money

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Whew Finally I am done with the academic world

At last - After 21 months of nerves, Monster (which I think is better than Red Bull) powered night outs, a seemingly impossible to do thesis, lots of anticlimactic exams and 4 semesters, I finished my MS in Computer Science from ASU.

Hopefully thing will turn around in a few months...

MS was a nice experience and it has gotten me much needed maturity as a professional. Also my present workplace (although it has very small teams and not many employees) has taught me to be much more professional and independent as a software developer than I could have ever been in PSPL or in any Indian company.

So far so good - keeping my fingers crossed!